This journey of understanding her is ever evolving, ever shifting, and ever changing. My journey has caused some euphoric sky scrapping highs and earth shattering lows. But I can honestly say that in her entirety, Love is beautiful, because in experiencing her through the years I’ve allowed myself to be open to understanding the vastness of my own capabilities. My truth about Love is that the only failure in experiencing her, is not learning something about your self from her.
I recently had to end an on going relationship with a wonderful woman because our understandings and expressions of Love weren’t in harmony with one another, thus when she poured into me her expressions of Love, I was closed. Likewise, when I expressed my heart’s desires to her, she would be closed. We were both expressing the deepest sentiments of the heart based on our understanding, yet, those expressions were being cast upon emotional brick walls. This isn’t the fault of either of us and it doesn’t make us horrible people, it just simply means that we both must increase our understanding of what Love is so that we can provide a safe haven for one another or our next partners to express our needs and desires in a productive way.
The right thing at the wrong time can still cause damage, so it is with Love. Love is painful when we hesitate instead of fully accepting Love for what Love is. It can also be counterproductive when we don’t embrace how receiving and giving Love makes us feel.
From this relationship experience I learned some key things about myself. Although I’m comfortable expressing myself in the capacity of a poet and writer, my verbal confidence as a person needs to improve if ever I want Love to understand what is dear to me. Love will evolve and expand her shelter if you ask her to. In retrospect, I became frustrated with Love when I wasn’t receiving what I needed, but having disbelief in her capabilities I failed to effectively communicate those needs and was left with empty hands. Hints the phrase a closed mouth don’t get fed.
I also learned that as I grow and evolve, so does my thirst for understanding and navigating the world around me. Being an emotional man, I’m extremely sensitive to energy shifts in various situations, and I physically feel moments very intensely. This gift needs to be a part of myself that first I learn to trust, and second that I choose to allow my partner to see and nurture. Remaining closed will cause me to spend my existence distrusting my partner, second guessing myself in situations of importance, and not walking in my greatest potential.
In all I have to expand my faith and belief in what the power of Love can actually do. So often we lean on past failures of what we thought Love was, when in reality we’ve already evolved from that place in time.
I learned that Love can in fact grow, and she teaches me this by experiencing with
her the process of her expansion…