Coming Home: Apology For A Love Affair

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I was a fool to leave you.

In you I found peace.
I found my place to release.
I found my strength.
I remember learning new things
About eachother everyday.
You just wanteded to listen,
For me to talk the pain away.

There were moments of confusion.There were times when
I would compare you to the others,
But you held this uniqueness.
I always preferred you. 

I felt connected to the universe.
I could see all things in you,
And the world saw me too.
My visions. My dreams and wants. My mental breakdowns captured
In your physical fortress.

In time my reality became
Confusing and perceptions shaken.
It became difficult to come to you;
To talk to you;
To tell you how I really feel
And all the while I held this
New found passion that needed
To be expressed….

That’s when she came along…..

I was with her back in college
When she wasn’t doing much.
Her recent popularity intrigued me.
She had a face socially acceptable,
An appeal designed for the masses.
I desired her.
I wanted her on my arm
Instead of you. 
And so, I left you
With little words to explain.

I chose her because she felt familiar
But when we first touched
The spark that I felt
The first time we came together
Wasn’t there…..
And I disregarded that.

I dealt with her,
Despite knowing that everyone
Had time with her.
I dealt with her,
Knowing that people I know
Had thier way with her
And in a way,
That made our encounters exciting.

As we went along I noticed
Our limitations.
She wasn’t as connected
To the world as she made it seem.
I would express my heart and soul
Only to have my words neglected
As if they don’t matter.
As if my thoughts cascade
Into an endless pit.
I couldn’t talk to her.
Like I’m wasting my time and hers.
She’s been used so much that
She doesn’t even care,
Its just on to the next
While I sit here,
Recounting our affair.

So I sit here.
Wanting you…. again.
Remembering the late nights we had.
Remembering the feelings of
Knowing you are where I need to be.
Remembering that it was you
That held me in dark hours…
When I almost turned off
The light of my future.
It was you that captured my redemption.
It was you that expressed
My pain, my love,
My knowledge and ideas.
And you held on to them,
In case I returned one day again.

And so I return,

Asking your forgiveness WordPress.
I left you,
Thinking that Facebook,
Would give me more
Than you ever could.
Thinking that my abilities,
My words and thoughts would be
Better utilized on
A mass appealed forum.
But my abilities are being
Thwarted by pictures
Of celebrities, promos, and ads.
My words,
Are being diluted by the redundancy
Of “Hit like for Jesus….”
My thoughts,
Are overlooked because “friends”
Post where they are in that exact moment,
Complete with GPS maps
And smiley faces.
My thoughts,
Are overshadowed by
The mindlessness of the world around me.

But yet I express love.
Positivity.
At times anger.
But love.

With you my thoughts are seen
In Canada, The Caribbean,
My Motherland.
People I will never meet but
Speak to thier hearts.
On Facebook,  the same ideas
Stay in a circle of people with agendas.

Facebook could care less….

I left you WordPress,
For a fling with a simple minded whore.
And I’m sorry.
I’m coming home.

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8 thoughts on “Coming Home: Apology For A Love Affair

  1. Sometimes we need to experience other things so that we can find the true beauty in what we really already have. Or to find beauty in something we may have missed otherwise.

      • Definetly. From the time we are children, we are given very narrow minded tools for thinking. Then as adults we are made to feel guilty when we explore thoughts that are outside the path of mundane thinking. Basically, guilt for wanting to experiment and find new answers. We should never be afraid to explore outside our original opinon, but unfortunately we are.

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