My Crazy

I’m crazy. There, I said it.

I’m labled crazy, or depressed, or mentally ill according to someone else’s standard that hasn’t experienced my life’s journey nor do they care to, claimimg to have an objective opinion.

I’m labled crazy by those who have walked next to me for what they think is long enough to claim to know me. How is that possible when my thought process constantly evolves and matures? I can’t even wholeheartedly claim to know myself enough to pass a blanket judgement on me so how can you? I have an understanding of who I am now, and because of this greater understanding it’s difficult for me to criticize or injure myself and those around me, because I’m progressively  seeing my self in them.

I have ignorantly accepted a diagnosis of myself that carries a stigma with it because there was a time in my life when playing a victim role was imperative; to need help outside of my own natural control or judgement was allowed because I believed my thoughts weren’t normal; whatever normal thinking looks like.

Bullshit.

I embrace my so called craziness because its the origin of the authenticity of my contributions to the world. If my being “crazy” is uncomfortable for you, you then have a choice not to look. That dilemma poses a problem for you because my craziness is an experience you’ve never experienced, and people who watch, listen, or read my thoughts are overtaken with curiosity; my crazy is captivating.

My crazy allows me to think beyond the limitations set by my parents or social influences, my education or financial status, my past experiences or my tainted image of love. My crazy is the essence of who I am and who I will be.

Now no matter where I go, what I do, who my audience is or why they are watching, they are sharing the beauty of my crazy with me. That which was used to destroy can bring life. That which was used to make enemies can now build relationships. That which was meant to kill me is the antidote to break someone else free from mental disease.

I think.the world is increasingly becoming emotionally unstable, to the point where “objectively” rejecting and devaluing one’s ligitimate emotional needs will be the cause for revolution. Those who are considered sane will be a minority if they already aren’t, and the balance of power will be completely toppled over and placed in the hands of those relegated to “crazy,” and “crazy” will be the new normal. With that being said, cultivate the beauty of your crazy so that when the toppling of this “objective” thinking takes, you are not harmful to yourself and those around you. Encourage your beauty so that love can replace the voids in your life.

And forgive. Most of all, forgive.

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