What will be, will be. Even though the waiting for what it is kills me. I want to force the inevitable knowing that it shall soon come. I’ll have my chance to hold it. Touch it. Breath it all in. Because its in my arms. Its on my shoulder. Its in my viens beating thru me. It radiates thru my skin and other people see its glory. They stop and stare. They wonder what it is about me that seems so different from what it was I was before. Oh but wait….. When will they realize that having that which is inevitable, which was bound to happen, even though waiting for it seemed like eternity…. when will they realize that when we get what we’ve wanted, our insatiable appetite will always want more, and what we have gotten, though envied by our peers, will inevitably loose its luster to no fault of its own. Its because of you. Your selfish and unsatisfiable hunger that you posses will make what was once your mission to attain, fade into a meaningless nothing. We are pits of our own hunger for self gratification.  And its not till the enlightenment, the knowing of thy self, becoming one with your creator, etc, its not till that sense of being, that we can truly appreciate the inevitable, which was bound to happen but was suffered for because the lack of contentment. The need for more.

I’m hungry.


What If Thought…. An Alternative Concept of God and more

This train of thought was written May 23, 2013 on a piece of card board I had because I had no paper at the time while I was working on my car. Its inspired by Alan Watts’ “A Conversation With Myself”. I’ll copy it in its entirety with my thoughts now in parentheses.

(A thought.) Thought is with us from the millisecond we open our eye’s. (Its existed in the same length that time has existed. Before we had a concept of time, time has always been there parallel to thought. And we cannot control neither time nor thought) What if the Bible’s account of creation was formed by the thought that before man, a thought created the Earth, moon, stars, and seas from a ball of fire?

What if thought is God? The thought that created existance? What if by “God” the writer meant “idea”? (And we replaced the title “God” with “idea”) An idea created the fire, earth, man, (all the way) to the destruction of man by man’s self destructive thinking? (The) Only the strong will survive mentality?

What if God is positive thought/idea and the devil (Satan) is negative thought/idea? If they use(d) pos/neg thinking bible says the mind of man (it might be the heart of man)is evil to no end. What if that means to explain that negative thinking is with us always. So is positive. (We just have a choice or free will in which thought to think with)

Adam (and Eve) from the start made a choice to eat the apple. Chose negative over positive. Meaning man will use thought negatively first before positive because its an easier/ sexier/selfish negative/ more attractive thought. The Devil said (to Adam and Eve) “You will knkw all that God knows.” And Adam chose to know all that God knows. Instead of trusring God/positive thought he chose knowledge/negative thought/devil (Satan)

Is it not man’s quest for knowledge/(the) light/enlightenment/technology/education/empowerment? Isn’t that also man’s quest? (Sorry I said it twice, but train of thought can’t be controlled) And isn’t (doesnt) the negative pursuit of that quest lead to (our) destruction? And keeping that “secret” to themselves is that not a way to control the people/sheeple to maintain power? Bell shaped curve, outliers get the 3 strike rule. (The bell shaped curve is a graph used to visualize the nature of a system and how the system’s main objective is to stay the same. To not be destroyed. Anything considered outliers are outside of the bell and whether good or bad the system will use progressive force to try to get rid of outliers in 3 main ways. 1. Buy it out to get the outlier to conform. 2. Discredit or defame. And 3. Destroy…. 3 strikes. Look it up.) If one party holds all the chips or (a majority) percentage of the chips cycling back to them, they maintain power/control/rules/man’s positive thought/God.

Positive quest for knowledge can kill man aswell. (For) Its not till we truly accept the face of death is when we truly live. Why do we wait till then, our 60s-78 to really accept the face of death and live in positive thought? (Maybe) Because those that hold the chips have the (job) to make us believe the face of death should be feared, negative thought/devil) not knowing we are not living. And they aren’t either unknowingly. What they don’t see (or maybe in some ways they do) is that selfish life they live is comfortable. But does not escape death, so they fear too. Its just a different (way) of fear(ing). We fear of dying broke and uncomfortable and do. They fear dying the same but do. Money and ruches don’t go with them.

So what if we chose to think (see/feel) positive(ly)/God/positive pursuit of knowledge/(to see our)self as gods? Or negatively/devil/negative pursuit of knowledge/selfishly.

What if they knew?

That was the 5th installment of Inside Nianda. Feel free to comment, share, like.

Are Black Women Expecting Too Much? Part 1


Are black women expecting too much from black men? From the standpoint of the Youtube video provided, HELL YES!! But I don’t think all black women think the way that computerized one does. But I do think black women have flashes of that mentality. “I’m a God fearing woman and I follow all of the Bible.” Like the male character said, what about the part that speaks about the submission to your husband?  “I need a man with 6 figures…” but in the next sentence she may say she’s independent.

I do ask myself sometimes what’s really gotten into our women. But if we question our women’s intentions, we also have to question what’s gotten OUT of our black men. And I think that’s where the problem lies. It starts with us men and ends as a whole.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having expectations and standards. We all should have standards when it comes to looking for your life partner. But they should be reasonable. And I’m in no way saying women need to lower their standards when meeting someone, but we all should understand the difference between initial standards or moral qualities and tentative qualifications. Your initial standards can be basic things like a job, a car, education, those are things that a man should have or be working towards at least. Initial qualities are personality traits or characteristics a man should have like respect, chivalry, a sense of security, emotional stability, etc. As for tentative qualifications, these are things he may or may not have and if he doesn’t have he has the potential to gain. things like the a 6 figure salary, or the college degree, etc. These are things that don’t make the person who thy are and shouldn’t make or break involvement with that person. If one of your initial standards is a man with a 6 figure salary and you wonder why you’re single….. THE PROBLEM IS YOU!! You should reevaluate why you need a man with that type of money. And insecurity on his part because you make that much and he doesn’t shouldn’t be an excuse. No one (white, black, male, or female) with money wants to be with someone long term who’s priority has anything to do with their money. Qualifying someone by the amount of money they make to most people is a serious red flag. Especially when its a requirement you don’t have. For instance you don’t have but you require the other person to have. Most of the time when a requirement is set by the person that doesn’t have that same qualification it’s for they’re own personal gain. Financial or not. Later I plan to speak on the value of money and what it really should be in our lives.

For men, we dropped the ball and never regained it. So the idea of a good successful black man has changed to everything we have to fight long and hard to attain. That’s not an excuse. The black tax has been there since black people gained their freedom. The problem is we keep focusing on the hardship circumstance instead of accepting it and fighting forward. We are the warriors and leaders who have been demoralized into do-nothings and thugs, men who think its OK to be taken care of. Its a shame when a pimp has respect in our society. We get blinded by the cars and clothes and wanting for nothing but when you analyze the essence of what a pimp is… he (there are female pimps too but for the purpose of discussion… he) is man who is taken care of financially by a women. Black women are watching this and the downward spiral of black men and have tried their hardest to stand by us. But the opportunity arose and the conditions were set for them to pick that ball up and run with it. And they soared to new heights. Taking the proverbial ball to heights where white men have gotten. You cannot for a second knock their hussle. So you can’t knock them either for wanting to maintain the accomplishments they’ve achieved. We have got to stop crying about what we don’t have or how hard it is to meet black women’s standards and start fighting to meet them. And our women need to understand that what our white peers have we fight twice as hard and may need assistance attaining them.

This topic is just another issue that divides our families and communities. And it needs to be discussed because more and more people are saying “forget black men” or “forget black women” and interracial marriage is on the rise. Nothing is wrong with interracial relations at all. You have the right to be with anyone of your choice. But to say that black men or women will never get it together so I’m crossing over is just wrong. Because we as a people will gt it together with the help of one another. But to break each other down into a class system based on money, or education, or haves and have nots within our own people and say well I’m too good for that or I’m no good for that will keep us in the stagnate state we are in.

There are a lot of different variables that are involved in this topic and I may have missed some things when discussing it. There isn’t a one size fits all to this situation. Everyone has different reasons why they can’t land they’re life partner. I used salary as a main example but their are all kinds of reasons why this topic comes up. I’d like to hear yours and any comments you may have.

This is the 3rd installment of Inside Nianda. Please comment, share, like. If you’re not a member of WordPress and are compelled to comment, email your comment to me and I’ll post it in its entirety just leave your name and location (city and state). My email is Thanks for reading. I hope it sparks major debate and alternative thinking.

Rights for Sexual Preferance?

I recently got into a debate with someone because I agreed with Adrian Peterson, running back for the Minnesota Vikings when he said “I don’t agree with it (homosexuality), but to each his own.” The guy got his feelings hurt because I feel the same way.

I’m not homophobic and neither is AP for saying that. We just don’t agree with gay marriage. Our opinions are just that opinions. But does that make me a bad person because I don’t believe in “gay rights?” No. I’m just a person who believes we shouldn’t have to make separate rights for who we choose to sleep with. Its a preference, a choice, its controllable. If sexual preference is something that we’re born with then we should release pedophiles and decriminalize prostitution.

I don’t think this is a government issue. Its a personal one that should be discussed between the 2 people involved with one another. If being married is on the hearts of a couple, why not have the ceremony. The paperwork involved after the actual marriage is more so for benefits and there are ways around that is there not? I could be wrong, but if you draw up and notarize legal documents designating someone to act as your power of attorney, shouldn’t that suffice for hospitals or banks? Do we really need the Supreme Court to be involved in this one? I mean really?

We say we want less government as a people but we’re allowing them into our personal lives and households by allowing them to chime in on this issue. We look for the government to take care of our every need and it shouldn’t be that way. They’re in place to serve us for the betterment of society, make decisions that benefit the masses. But we allow them to favor groups. Pass legislation for a minority instead of majorities. When we have people struggling to pay bills and eat on a daily, we have a people worried about getting married? I know I’m not the only one that sees the absurdity of this situation.

Im no way am I saying homosexuality is just this horrible thing. I just don’t agree with it and I don’t think I or anyone else should have to. Who I or you choose to sleep with is your business as long as its safe and not detrimental to anyone else or children. You can have sex with a goat as long as you’re not spreading diseases and its in the privacy of your property. Why let the government into our lives more than they have to?

This is Inside Nianda signing off. Share, comment, like. Thanks.

US Intervention in DR Congo


I first want to say its a shame I dont know more about my place of origin when I’m envied by people who have no clue where they come from other than the continent. I’m Congolese, born and raised in the US. When I think about the continuous suffering of my family back in Kinshasa and across the country I hurt. I admit that with the grind of daily life its easy to forget that my blood runs through a place where there is constant war, a corupt government, and a people suffering and fighting for the simplest of pleasures….. but on a lighter scale I LIVE in a place cut from the same fabric. The United States is in war even though our homes aren’t in the line of fire. The United States government is being found to be more corrupt as the moral standards of its citizens are being challenged and more whistleblowers are shedding light. And more and more of our citizens fight for basic needs to survive here. In no way is the American struggle parallel to the struggle of the African, but it is similar…. I can make an argument.

It bothers me that the Congo Crisis even exists. But what bothers me more than the crisis itself is that the US thinks that it can change the crisis by appointing someone in its own corupt government to tackle the issue. Promoting the idea of what we think democracy looks like will not change the situation in the DR Congo simply because its proven not to have changed the coruption here and because its not true democracy. Its known that our government is in the pockets of corporations. Corporations’ main objective is to maintain wealth. One way wealth is maintained is by having the support of the law. Lawmakers are proven to favor the sources of their financial support. Read “The Prince” by Machiavelli. This short book is a guide to how the rich and powerful stay in power and its principles are still used to this day by western governments. So the idea that appointing former senator Russ Feingold to come up with solutions to the DR Congo’s coruption is almost laughable.

If the Congo has any chance in stopping this conflict, it will have to do it with nations exluding western powers. Imagine if the countries of Africa stood together and got rid of the capitalist mentality that was imported by the west? Regardless of what you may have heard about Mommar Ghaddafi he wanted peace in all of Africa, and did a lot of good things for his countrymen in Libya. It wasn’t until he stood up against the United Nation’s monopoly on international governance that his name started to be discredited. But what if more of Africa’s leaders stood up like Ghaddafi and said we do not need the west to control our destiny? What if they stood together and said we can find a peaceful solution amongst ourselves without western intervention? Do you think the conflict would end a lot sooner?

You’d be a fool to think that the west isn’t profiting from the conflicts around the world. While we sit at home watching the character assassinations of world leaders, defense contractors are making big dollars dealing arms and intelligence to war struck lands to keep the conflicts going. They won’t stop until either the people realize they been duped or they are all dead. Whichever comes first.

I love the United States and the freedom we have here. And I hate the fact that my people are suffering on a daily back in my country of origin, the Democratic Republic of Congo. They do need help. But help in the way that they become self sufficient without our aid or influence.

Mr. Feingold,

if you’re appointment is a sham to exploit the people of Congo than don’t even bother. And if you really want to help, you can play the background and organize a meeting between the leaders of the African continent, and then fall back even further to let them discuss the solutions to their problems and fix them. But if you try to take the lead, you sir are bound to fail. And you may have the best of intentions I’m not doubting that. I am doubting your objective, to solve the coruption of a government with the moral standard of a corupt capitalist government.

This has been the 2nd installment of InsideNianda. Please comment, share, or like. Many more to come and thanks for reading.

The Irrelevance of the Church

Ask an African- American of 2 generations ago who Jesus and they’ll probably tell you their Savior; their Messiah; the one who got them through some hard times. Ask a young person the same question and you’ll probably receive a halfway thought out answer, nothing significant. More times than not, I’m finding that young folks are turning away from organized religion and reaching for something that they believe has tangible or quantitative value. Why?

Attending church or just having plain faith has brought us an African people through many situations. From our singing of spirituals to keep our minds off of the cracker and his whip who was greedily watching our every move during our enslavement and Jim Crow, or while marching against injustice during the Civil Rights Movement, the belief that someday Jesus will come back and deliver us all out of this world to a place called heaven has given us a peace that surpasses understanding…. Now that the civil rights struggle has subsided due to the tokens given to shut us up, we look less towards the church and a risen savior. It’ll require more research to find out what we are turning to exactly, but more often than not the church is seen as the place to catch up on gossip, perpetrate righteousness, and see family and friends on certain holidays or to get a “word” from the Lord like your fix for the week.

There are many ways to get to the same end result. It’s no different when it comes to spirituality and seeking the glory of God. As I stated before, our people’s spirituality has gotten us through many dark days in our past, but that worked then. What have we gained now? Young people have questions that require answers, and the belief that someone with special powers is coming back to save us from the everyday hell the majority of African Americans live in just doesn’t suffice as a remedy. I’m in no way demeaning who Jesus Christ was in the history of human kind, but I don’t believe that  believing that he is coming to save humanity will really save me from this Hell. Its up to me to elevate my mind from looking toward worldly things and keep myself from destroying myself with them. This is  the core of what Jesus Christ taught. The renewing of your mind? What was his purpose in asking for heaven on Earth if the intention was to wait until we die to receive the glory of heaven? Do you really need to worship him gain a new perspective? Of course not.

The church is irrelevant because few pastors offer practical solutions to the problems young people are facing today. Your life doesn’t get any better or worse depending on your attendance at church and the truth is, just like any other business, the church of today needs your money too to stay valuable to your communities.

I’m no atheist, I believe in God. I was raised in the church, son of a pastor, read The Bible back and forth. I can quote scriptures and I’ve given a sermon (not one of my brightest moments). I say that to say I’m in no way bashing anyone’s religion. I believe all religions, no matter how kooky they’re perceived to be by those not practicing them, can have some truth. Its a fact that humans who believe in something even if its themselves have a better quality of life. We all should believe in something. Before to can find what that something is for you, do a little shopping. Not everyone is destined to say “Jesus is my Lord and Savior.” Or “Allah is all knowing.” Or whatever the case may be. Its OK to shop around and see if religion is right for you. If we teach that instead of cramming church down people’s throats I think we would live in a lot less guilt and the elevation of one’s mind would be a lot less stressful.

This is the first installment of InsideNianda. Please comment, share your thoughts, and pass along. I pray that i got off everything I wanted to say in a clear manner. Thanks for reading.