Far too many of…

Far too many of us “stand for something” to be accepted but in actuality we’re really standing behind the shadows of someone else. When your door is closed, and lights are off; when no one is around you, you deny who you really are to be accepted by mainstream. Unchecked character will ruin where your talents placed you.

We use quotes from great leaders when we truly don’t practice the message we simply believe in the fad of the name. A lot of Christians don’t have the love of Jesus Christ; thier just fans. Nelson Mandela had powerful words to combat oppression yet we find ways to emotionally and spiritually defeat one another on a daily basis. Malcolm X, The Honorable Marcus Garvey, the list can goes on of men and women who stood in thier convictions and did not waver. How dare we pervert thier quotes as if we feel the same but seek to hurt and destroy? We have no right. Real leaders go against the grain in spite of. Real leaders set trends. Real leaders create a new path. Real leaders create ways despite not having. Real leaders can’t be bought. 

I will not be bought.

Divine purpose. Walk in it. Stop taking.

When I was your man…..

To no one in particular…

When I was your man I made you laugh. You would slightly grin at all my jokes, even the corny ones. It was kinda awkward that you made it known I could have you that early. All of you. But I played it safe; I kept it cool. I actually liked you and you liked me. We talked about dreams, our futures, our careers…. Picket fence around a 4 bedroom house with a garage and 2.5 kids. When I was your man you would make little gestures, or drop clues that I would pretend to not get so I could play innocent for that moment. Because for a second, maybe even 3 minutes, I thought about what it would be like to be with this you forever. To spend my days with this you. Chatting. You listening to me talk about whatever ideas about whatever things I wanted to do or ways to make a buck because in my mind you wanted someone with stability. With a plan. When I was your man you wanted me to succeed because you knew if I made it, WE made it. You knew that even though I told you I wanted to get to know you that if you helped me reach those dreams of mine, if you helped me with my plan towards a stable life for us, if you helped me succeed, then I would share my life with you. When I was your man all that mattered to me was you and your security. All that mattered was our plans for us.

When I was your man, you would talk to me, not at me. You would make me feel like I was wanted. Like you actually wanted me to be around me. And the sex….. was like our bodies knew exactly who the other was.  All that mattered was making sure you were happy despite how I felt. Despite what went through my mind of the grass being greener or how young I’m supposed to feel and be, your happiness made me happy. Your smile made me smile. Your joy made my day.

When I was your man, the little things you did would please me. The way you touched me told me you loved me and how you knew I would love you forever. I would listen to you snore, and because your rested in my arms it sounded like soft playing music on a rainy day with the blanket up to my chin. When I was your man, how you saw me meant so much to me. And I wanted to be the man who you saw me to be. I wanted to be as strong as 10 men. I wanted to have the inner strength of Confucius, Jesus of Nazareth, and the Dali Lama combined, maybe with a touch of Mohandis Gandhi. I wanted so badly to be sensitive; so badly to be assuring and reassuring. I wanted you to want me.

When I was your man I wanted to be vulnerable and to feel protected; because relinquishing my “manhood” was such a difficult feat, I wanted to know that it was safe with you to hold, to keep, to handle with care and give it back to me intact when I ask for it back without using it against me.

When I was your man, I saw you as my queen. Someone to treat royally and not take my kindness for weakness. I wanted us to set standards because I was your man. I felt like a trailblazer, a trend and goal setter. A peacemaker. A revolutionary. A protector. Yours.

When I was your man, the sky was the limit. I felt like a firework and you were my destination that I would burst into and fill the night sky with my amazing beauty.

When I was your man… I was, am, and will be… me.

 

 

I Need Your Help

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Peace unto you,

My name is Mulemvo Nianda, documentary filmmaker and sociology student.

As you may know, I have been showcasing the controversial documentary THE NIGGA PROJECT Experience at such community venues as The Jacob Center for Community Innovation, The Urban League of San Diego, and SDCCD City College. This documentary tackles the “N” word head on by asking various community members in San Diego the very simple but necessary question, “What does the word ‘nigga’ mean to you?” and allows the respondents to answer the question with no scripts or guidance. What was once an elementary idea has come together to form a 17 minute emotional journey through the words original intent towards Africans during and after the violent conditioning of slavery, the Jim Crow Era, and Civil Rights Movement. Our goal is to emotionally connect African youth back to the term’s roots, in hopes that we all can start to heal and begin to consciously think about our actions that perpetuate our own inferiority.

Those who have been through The Experience have regarded it very highly, and see it as a necessary tool to educate our youth, but I need your help in getting this to their computer screens and front doors. Its time to continue the series by filming THE NIGGA PROJECT Part 3, and I’m asking all who are in ear shot of this letter for your support with a $5 donation on https:/www.kickstarter.com/projects/1592084504/the-nigga-project-experience , your relevant referrals or any materials that can help us with the shows or filming for Part 3 of The Experience. Anything you can contribute would be greatly appreciated and please keep in mind that all contributions are going to the empowerment of our youth, for it is they who will be conceiving the future of Africans in America. And even with the great successes in our communities, the majority of the outlets targeted at African youth work to keep them in a stagnant condition. Let’s rally around something positive!!
Peace & Blessings.

Mulemvo M. Nianda

Divine purpose. Walk in it. Stop talking.

Who Am I

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There’s times I feel like giving up; like I’m not heard.
But every word is a bird that takes flight in the minds I’m sent to serve. 
I don’t take it lightly. In spite of the all glory that I lack, I’m not in it for that.
I see The End Game.
My purpose is pure, and I’m sure that in due time you’ll see I came to build you up in His name.
Even Jesus had to leave his home to minister to the people that he came to save.
In this way I am like him,
Cuz even though you see me by the struggles I endured in front of you,
I’M NOT LIKE NONE OF YOU.
I don’t live under you,
I live among you who can see that that Rome is falling and experience multitudes of death, filth, and famine,
Sex, thrills, and damage.
Destruction.
Disgusting how we left them to manage our identity.
So you’ll never see the real you.
We only see the ones that show us how to kill truth.
The real you stays bottled up inside and the pride that covers it all is bound to fall.
We out here in survival mode fighting to “have it all” but this “all” that we’re fighting for never really fulfills.
What are you gaining